Lypo please!

So… We all know Kim is a lezbo, right?! Apparently, she never got fired OR quit… Unfortunately. However, a little birdy did say that her “significant other” has gotten lypo, and she’s been having a hard time recovering, so I’ve heard. Everyone just thought she went on vacation and just quit or some shit. Hah.

Gay hater

Does anyone remember Crystal? The CCM? Ah, she was THE best!!! One of EVERYONES favorite manager, by far! Anyway… Our wonderful manager Clay… Is a racist and a homophobe!!! Notice how all our new managers are ‘white’? I mean… It COULD be JUST a coincidence, but I heard thru the grape vines just that and how he has “problems” with gay people. Crystal hated him and said she’d never work with Clay again, and Clay had a ‘problem’ with her.

I think that’s legit. Clay does seem like he stalks down trannies and slices and dices them and throws them in a hole. Apparently it’s the “way he grew up.” Well, sorry to cut it to ya Clay, but if you hate the homos, then HEB aint exactly the best place for you to be working! And to be racist while you’re at it?! Damn you got some problems man!

Control your bitches!

This blog seems to pick on faggy Sean a lot. Sure. But it’s so hard not to when he’s such an easy target (ho). Once-a-pon-a-time Eric (CCS) came into the store on his DAY OFF to write a little message on the podium… “Train Sean for gas station.” Wait now, what?! Sean? Faggot Sean who doesn’t even want to work inside, train for gas station?!

I mean… Unless Eric got so drunk that Sean blew him or something and got it on video, Eric absolutely no will power. Here comes the really funny part! Get this get this… Veronica is moving inside to Business Center, ok? Sean wants to move out to gas station! LMFAO!!!! Oh my fucking god, I can’t stop laughing! Someone give me a bag! Really? Seriously?! He even lied and said “everyone loves me out there.” BITCH PLEASE! Angie and other Sean don’t even count, plus neither of them said no such accusation. Veronica hates him, and Mark is very picky, and kinda homophobic, so he wont let just ‘anyone’ out there.

Eric. Grow some balls next time, and stop letting Sean play with them!

Party over here, party over there!

Sooo… It came to my knowledge that more ass kissing has been coming along, lately. Eric, Lisa, Alex and oh so many others have been “partying” and “drinking” over at George’s and Sean’s place lately. Knowing that, notice how George, Correne and Sean are probably the only ones on USCAN much? Continuously. I mean… There’s already favortism. This just makes it worse. Rumor has it… Lisa likes to dance… Like a slut on crack. Just thought I would share.

Transvestites are allowed?

So today the store’s new CCM walked in… At first glance, she literally looked like a tranny! No joke. Get this! She’s butch! And we all know what our HEB butchy managers are!! Pussy lickers! Oh yeah. AND… What the FUCK is up with her disgusting 2 century old hair?!?! It’s a disgrace to mankind! Someone punch her in the titts!

I’m married… But I suck dick.

Has anyone ever noticed just how gayish our new CCM Mario is? And even Tommy in business center. He says he’s not gay, but really? REALLY?! Has he seen himself in the mirror?!

Mario just walks and acts gay. No straight guy does the whole gay hand gesture thing. You know… The hand flip/wave. Nay does is all the time. Apparently, he’s “married”… Married to a TRANNY, maybe. Watch him check out all the little boys. Perv!

Tommy… Well, I don’t really have to say much, besides he absolutely no ass and looks anorexic. And the ring on his lip is bigger than his head.

Paying the whores

I’ve came across from very amusing and disgusting information at work. Sean… Fag Sean… Is a “pay me” whore. Yup. When hearing something about missing $80 for weed, a mention of giving blowjobs for money came up. And something about not charging more than $200 for them. Really? Too bad he’s not worth $2!!! I don’t know who would ever let him touch them, especially when he’s full of diseases and disgust!

Doors have locks for a reason!

It seems whenever you go to someone’s party from work, during the end of the night when it starts to settle down and people start leaving, is when all the sex goes on. If you went to the “SA41 Coast Trip” this summer, scandalous sex was all around. The most obvious; Elda and Justin. Too bad the word that’s going around is Justin is just simply “satisfactory”. Sorry ladies, but if you want a big dick, Justin doesn’t have it.

Larry’s parties… He’s always having sex. Sometimes multiple times with different girls! The things you hear him say in the break room sometimes is fascinating. If Max is there, then you’ll always find someone grabbing his ass. The most common; Sean. You wouldn’t think Max was a little slut, oh but he is! (This will elaborated soon). The latest gossip, George and Reba! I know! Wanna hear something juicer? They were doing it while her BABY was in the room! What a poor messed up child that’s going to be!

Secret MySpace

MySpace is both good and evil at the same time; it makes new friends and destroys old friends. There’s no doubt about it. Its happened to all of us at one point of our MySpace accounts. Overtime we tend to put stuff on MySpace… Crazy pictures, ‘bleeding my heart out’ blogs, or even post one of those surveys and say something revealing. We’ve all done it before.

What else about MySpace is revealing? Why the people on it, of course! It’s funny to see our own managers on MySpace and Facebook. It might be private, but nevertheless they’re on there. There’s also that cute guy/girl from work; and something you found out about them…. Oh, I don’t know… Sexual orientation!

It’s one thing to lie and tell people one thing, when your own profile says the exact opposite. Whither it be sexual orientation, age, single or taken, or even having a MySpace account in the first place! People are so amazingly stupid these days.

And what’s up with random adds?! You know… Someone from work or school who you NEVER talk to or engage in a conversation with and all of a sudden have an add request from them! Umm.. Awkwaaaard!

The bitch list

If you’re new at the store, within a week you’ll find out who all the “bitches” are. Not ‘hoe’ bitches, but bitchy bitches. It’s obvious that almost all the managers are bitches; never very nice or friendly, rude and obnoxious.

Christina is pretty much on the top of the list. She’s on the rag almost 95% of the time! And when she is nice, it’s like for five minutes before she starts dripping again. Yvette is obviously the queen of them all; enough said. Yvonne has her days. At first everyone hated her, because of her the store turned into chaos and everything changed, but with time everyone started to VERY slowly like her. But like I said she has her days. Our new CCM Mario is socially awkward. He seems nice, but rudely strict.

As for the checkers and baggers: Elda is on the high list. Who by the way should try to wear some makeup every once in a while to cover up her dark circles. She looks, sounds and talks like a real super bitch.
Joey has his days; when he’s in a good mood he’ll be nice to you and maybe try to talk, but if he’s on his “man period” he can seem like the bitch of the world! Bitchy to the point if it’s a bad day and he’s bagging for you or on a checkstand, and the customer can tell… You might get in trouble!
Joe is loud, obnoxious and cocky as a mother fucker! One of the most annoying people I’ve ever had to work with. Sometimes in conversations with customers, he gets very bias and ignorant and becomes the “bitch”.
Diane is a complete twat. She even looks like it at first impression. First day she started working I knew she was a complete bitch, and I was right. She’s very rude, but she does it in a not so very obvious way. But nonetheless, she’s a bitch.
Evelyn is a weirdo. That’s probably why they always put her on returns. I’ve never seen her smile or laugh. She looks like the kind of person that locks their kids in the basement for days without food, and spanks them with bob-wire.
Jackie in business center thinks she’s the shit. When really all she is, is a sad girl wearing a tire around her waste. Bitch.
Little Jackie, ever since they made her lead for a day, and even before that when she was “training”, she acts like she’s the shit. Bosses people around like she owns the place. Bitch please, you haven’t even started puberty yet!
Falon thinks everyone is out to get her because she’s black! She’s just as ignorant and close-minded as anyone else. She’s always complaining and bitching about something. She’s nice sometimes, but most of the time it’s just bitch bitch bitch.
And pretty much everyone in parking lot think they own everything. Fuck ya’ll!

The list can go on, and lots will be added once they’ve been noticed and thought of.

It’s officially confirmed

This is so the “New Guy or New Gay” post. The suspicions about this new guy being gay are confirmed… He is, after much debate and research; gay! Is he single, taken, hard-to-get, or easy will soon find its way on these pages!

From checker to stripper!

So it’s really funny when you find out people have had, have, or will be having, an awkward, weird, exotic job. In this particular instance, it’s Charlene! Anyone remember her? She was such a bitch. She probably gets it from her mother, who also works at the store, or used to work; haven’t seen her in a while. Maybe she got fired for being such a cunt, too. Anyway. So, Charlene’s new interesting job, that she left HEB for, is at a strip club! Yes… A strip club. Where naked, anorexic and pregnant woman dance. Apparently she’s a “waitress”. Please. I bet she’s still showing her titts. Hey, if it’s better money making than HEB, then where do I sign up?!

Let’s Play A Game!

Some of our H-E-B partners love to mix and match their secret lovers. See if you can guess just who the hell we’re talking about.

• Who likes to kiss the (straight) married men?
• Who likes to keep it strictly in the family? (HEB family) Let’s keep it clean Pervs!
• Who likes it Rough and in the weirdest places?
• Who likes to send Naughty pics to get their “usual” in the mood?
• Who’s the biggest Fucking tease!? More than one, we gotta say.
• Who’s been shared the most with the Straight people?
• Who’s been shared the most with the Fags?

Just something to think about. So when your at a party, and you find yourself too drunk to care about Who or What you’re doing, try to remember who that person has been with. You might think twice unless you enjoy taking random trips to the nearest free clinic.

New is better?

Everytime a new partner starts at HEB, whither they be a bagger, checker, or a manager; if they’re good looking, everyone tries to “tap” that. If it’s a new girl, all the horny guys sneak around and act like they’re “the shit” just to get into their pants. Same thing when a new guy starts, except it’s the girls that try to act all ‘hot and bothered’. And when they’re gay… Oh shit… All hell breaks lose. Because you got three of the top gaychebeers (watch out for the top gay whores in another blog) trying to fuck that first. It’s literally a race to the cock.

If these new partners have any sense of moral and standards, they’ll stand their guard and fight them off. But if they’re just another whore to add to the list, then that’s exactly what they’ll be. And we’ll know, and do the honors for them!

Shacking and gagging

A lot of ‘partners’ are well aware that the store is full of WHORES and SLUTS! There’s absolutely no doubt about it. HEB is literally a whore house. Some are so ‘easy’ you can just walk in and walk out with someone, fuck them, and bring them back. Cuz we all know that’s happened.

Some of these whorish partners are obvious. Some seem so innocent that you would think they were still a virgin! And then you got those that act and seem all nice and cool, but when the sun goes down… So does their pants!

Some of the obvious well-known “sleep-arounders” include: Victoria (Tory), Larry (Fire crotch), Sean (gay), Jeremy (ex biz center), and this only includes a handful that everyone pretty much knows of. Watch out for the secret ones when we tell you!

Yes or No? We say YES!

Certain leads should just come out and say it already, And if your thinking of the one with the huge bulge in his Wranglers, NOT him we’ll get to him later. We mean “YOU!”  Your overly nice, Creepily polite, And you have that innocent  ”V” mark on your forehead!!! Anywho. It’s just another queen to add to the pile of sluts located in your Texas friendly H-E-B Plus! So who is it we’re talking about? Oh were sure this guy’s given you an over-ride or two, But who will he be giving a “Ride” to?  We’ll see how this one goes…

“There Goes The Gayberhood!”

This fella sure loves the boyz! Well, whether he’s shacking up with a bagger or a checker, this guy’s never having a dull moment! But who are the lucky contestants  in his freaky little love game? Maybe all will be revealed. Stay tuned. We dare you!

Secret Sex Spots!

Ever wanted to hook up at work? We bet you have!  HA!  What is it with the F-ing parking lot?!!! If we could tell you all the times these partners have used the parking lot for their “Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn” you’d probably start parking at Sonic to buy your groceries. Poor P-Lot guys, If they only knew the shame that occured on the asphalt they walk on! WE DO!

Who’s that guy?

Who would’ve known this quiet guy would end up in a picture like this? HA! “Yeah, Never judge a book… Well you know how that one goes”. This guy has had his share of your Texas friendly H-E-B drama. But the year’s not over. Let’s all sit back and watch what happens next, shall we?

New Guy or New Gay?

That is the question on everybody’s minds isn’t it? Everybody wants a piece of the new guy whether they can admit it or not.  Well I guess the next question is who’s gonna get that, If it’s not already taken. I guess we’ll all have to wait and see.

HEB is desperate!!

So ever since the store has gotten rid of (fired and demoted) the old managers, the store has literally fallen and crumbled apart! These new so-called “managers” are beyond BEYOND fucking STUPID!!! Stupid is such a lesser clean word for them. Idiots is another good one.

So who shall we start with.

Yvette: A compete IDIOTIC MORON!!!! She thinks she “knows” everything. When really, that bitch has BARELY been with HEB for a year. Also, she’s ‘slow’ (not in the physical way… Mentally) and LAZY. All you ever see her do is stand around poking at the fucking dashboard and “pretend” like she’s doing something on returns. You’ll NEVER actually see her do any literal work; help bag, etc. NO MANNERS!

Lisa: Almost just as worse as Yvette, but in a much lesser way. At least she doesn’t act like she knows everything, but she does have her days when she does. Lisa, unlike Yvette, knows her “please” and “thank you.” She’s also a bit lazy and sluggish and spends most her time on high-side to avoid work; or at least it seems like it.

Kim: OH EM GEE!!! BIGGEST DYKE BITCH EVERRRRRR!!! Words can’t even describe her cuntness! Absolutely NO MANNERS whatsoever! NEVER does work!! All she ever does, and this is NOT exaggerating, sit at the podium with her fat ass sticking out poking at the dashboard. NEVER will you see her HELP her “partners” bag or do any other work. She walks around like she fucking owns the place. A complete cunt!

This would conclude the IDIOTS part of the new managers.

As for the others; Mario, Chris, and the newly added Eric, are actually not complete idiots. I guess it’s just the girls. However, Chris is completely oblivious as to what to do in the front end, or anywhere else for that matter. Hah!